pillow talk?

so a lot of times people ask me, sharon why are you so smart? and i always give credit to my parents. but seriously, i wonder the same? but i think i have discovered a possible answer to this question.

probably most people have generally the same amount of intelligence for 24hrs of each day, right? i mean, how smart you are is how smart you are, 24/7, barring periods of extreme fatigue or other odd things that can alter your brain functions. i, however, have an ability to concentrate alll of my intelligence to my waking hours. this has the effect of making me 2x as smart as i am genetically...which leaves me as pretty dang smart.

at least when i'm awake. apparently in the wee hours of the morning i'm a complete moron. you might be currently skeptical of my intelligence doubling theorem, but after you read these conversations that i have with ross at 5 or 6am, i think you will be sold!

sharon: you know who i havent seen all day? (this in itself is dumb. i spent all day by myself at the house)
ross: who?
sharon: minnie!
ross: i put her in the other bedroom.
sharon: with the cat?
ross: who?
sharon: minnie!
ross: minnie IS the cat. (and also the only 'person' i HAD seen all day)
sharon: oh.


phone rings at absurdly early hour
ross: whose is that??
sharon: i think its lingerie?
ross: what?
sharon: lin-ge-rie.
ross: i dont know what you mean.
sharon: <> its like bras and panties.
ross: i know what lingerie is. i think its a phone ringing.
sharon: it is?
ross: yes, is it mine or yours?
sharon: i dont know.

there goes another one

so while ross and i were in jamaica doing cool things (ATVs, zip lines, horseback riding, etc) my 2 water frogs and 1 betta fish were chilling at my mostly empty apartment in san antonio. i put a time delay feeding capsule in the aquarium that should last 20 fish for 10 days. 20 fish. 10 days. I was gone for 10 days. I have 2 frogs and 1 fish so i thought this should suffice. i'm not sure if it happened the moment i turned my back or if the last day they were just staaaarving because they hadn't had their normal diet of fish flakes AND dried shrimp. i also am not sure if it was a joint effort or what, but one or both of those stupid frogs ATE MY BETTA FISH. and when i say ate, i mean when you look in the aquarium you'd never know there ever WAS a betta fish because it is 100% eaten, bones and fins and eyes and all. so now i just have 2 albino african clawed frogs who have caught on to the american trend in obesity.

the homeless jobless bum i married is now working and we are living in our new house together in our new town. i don't really recommend it so much....that much change at one time that is. but i DO recommend taking about a month off of work, because it feels amazing. i also recommend getting married because its very nice.