the truth

i've got so many questions,
but for now i'll stick with pilate's
the timeless question
what is truth
the pain in my heart
and the sadness in my bones
are not easily satisfied
and i'm tormented
and i'm seeking to know
what is truth

"call to me and i will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
--jeremiah 33.3

"I am coming to you now, but i say these things while i am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. i have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than i am of the world. my prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. they are not of the world, even as i am not of it. sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. as you sent me into the world, i have sent them into the world." --john 17.13-18

me, my fam, the alamo, and tim duncan

well my mom and j-rod and rachel came down for a lil visit on their winter break. we had a blast this weekend: we got pedicures (well, not jared), ate chick-fil-a, watched olympics, played scrabble, cooked yummy food, went to the movies, went to my new church, worked out, played pool, took a cruise on the riverwalk, watched part of the mardi gras parade, toured the alamo and followed the mission trail to other missions, checked out usaa, got a treat from shakes, and topped everything off with the spurs vs. knicks game. the apt. seems very quiet now.

thoughts from the weekend

you know you're asking for trouble when you're in college station and dont go to wings 'n more. here's a hint: dont pick outback.

how many tom cruise movies can you name?

you know you're an alumni when you actually buy something other than a scantron at the MSC bookstore rather than CC Creations

it sure is good to hang out with old college friends

it sure is good to hang out with the fam.

the pink panther remake with steve martin is very very humorous. would you like to buy a hamburger?

you know you're at a good church when the pastor uses your oft used phrase big ol honkin in his sermon without cracking a smile.

happy valentines day

if you are searching for a spark to make your valentines day happy, i've provided a few tips:

1. watch bob costas in HD. this is not for the faint of heart. but its funny. and the skiing and snowboarding look pretty tight.

2. reference my blog posting from last valentines day and recall elementary valentines day past. o the happiness.

3. plan a vacation

4. relax on the couch

5. eat chocolate

6. go to h-e-b and buy lots of little kids valentines and give them to your friends at work. share the love.


for valentines day 2006, i worked 9hrs rather than the 13 i posted yesterday. i came home and did #4. and by relax i do mean passed out for 2hrs. then i proceeded to contine to do #4 with a little #1 mixed in.

before i close, can i just say that curling is the funniest thing ever. it reminds me of mr. estes calculus class 2002 because we all talked about it so much, but i still get a kick out of it. more than that, i get a kick out of the poor guys that are the commentators for curling. umm yeah its going its going, they're sweeping, they're sweeping....ooo its in the circle yay.

i think thats all i've got for you dear blog reader. here's hoping your valentines day was quite splendid.

why customer service has gone the way of hymns in a church service

it has become increasingly clear to me as i deal with issues that one must deal with in 'the real world' that customer service is becoming rather non-existent in our culture.

case A:
last weekend when i traded in my 'normal' dvr for one that is 'HD ready'. first note that they did NOT deliver it, nor OFFER it to me, though it is standard service. once i uncovered this dirty little trick, that i was indeed paying for something that i was not currently enjoying, i drove over to pick up a new cable box. never mind that i had to wait in line for a long time, then drove home to realize they had not given me the correct box at all, but rather the same box i'd just 'traded in.' i called the customer service. let me clarify that i tried to call customer service from the very phone they bill me for and it could only get a busy signal. i got through on my cell phone and waited on hold for 45 min before being told...yeah we gave you the wrong box. with no apology. so again i DROVE back over and waited in line for 1 HOUR, and got the new box. i was alarmed that they were not in the least bit surprised they'd given me the wrong box. again, no apology. when i complained they offered me 10 dollars. i explained to them that they'd wasted over 3hrs of my time, and that i was accustomed to making more than $3.33 an hour. 'thats the best we can do.' yes....but are you SORRY?!


case B:
tonite i broke my rule of eating out for dinner during the week by ordering a pizza. it was valentines day after all, cut some slack. i went online to order, which they encourage you to do. then i proceeded to wait 30 min. then i got a call that my order had been placed at the wrong store. never mind that the internet chooses the store. also disregard that i've ordered from the same store in the past. not only does he not apologize that it will take 30 more minutes because the 'internet sometimes thinks one store is actually closer', it is going to cost more at this store. i cancelled that puppy. (that was for you, team awesome)


these are 2 minor cases of poor customer service that i've experienced this week and not really a big deal. but i am convinced this is an epidemic in our society. they teach that business is all about the consumer so the customer is always right. this is no longer practiced. i think it has to do with our self-service driven economy because of enabling technology and high cost of labor. i also think it has to do with, again, technology that makes it possible to say...dont like us? fine, go somewhere else. see if we care.

ah, soy excellent

a taste i'd been craving on some level since my childhood was finally satiated (is that a word? i think it is. i think it sounds good, so i'm gonna leave it there) yesterday evening. on one level i dont miss peanut butter at all because the mere thought of it brings up repulsive feelings. however, on some other level everyone needs that satisfaction that comes from eating a pbj every once in awhile. i had done some research for peanut butter alternatives...i.e. peanut butter without the peanuts. contrary to what it sounds like, this is not like going to sonic and ordering a cheeseburger, hold the cheese, as i can recall gleefully doing on occasions with childhood friends. for some reason it was funny. anyway, turns out they do, in fact, make peanut butter without the peanuts. after 2 strikes at my h-e-b, i stumbled across it at super target: soynut butter. yes, friends, thats right, soynut butter. it looks like peanut butter, but it is peanut free. it tastes like peanut butter...well, i wouldnt go thaaat far, but it wasnt bad at all. it did the trick, just a little pasty i guess. now, i chose the creamy kind, though i do remember enjoying crunchy peanut butter. but i couldnt help but ask myself, what are the chunks in chunky soynut butter? soynuts? what do soynuts taste like? dunno. but this is the 2nd time this month that soy has done me a favor...earlier this month i investigated soy milk, and am now able to enjoy drinking a glass of milk. so, if you can eat peanut butter, i say definitely stay away from soynut butter, but if its your only option, i'm saying its not bad. not bad at all.

thoughts from thesharester

• living outside of one's passion is frustrating.
• all the feelings in the world should not replace convictions. or dreams.
• pepsi's new slogan 'brown and bubbly' is perhaps the worst slogan in marketing history.
• love is....patient.
• showers of blessing can sometimes be mistaken for torrents of despair.
• soy milk is actually not so bad.

this twisted path
keeps turning the wrong way.
this sick rollercoaster
has too many valleys
and not enough peaks.
i'm holding on
but i'm not sure where i am.
in this choose your own adventure,
i picked the wrong option.
my only hope
is that it wasnt me
that chose this way.
and that somehow
someway
you have a plan here too.



"Who is the man that fears the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way He
chooses. He himself shall dwell in prosperity, and his descendants shall
inherit the earth. The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and
He will show them His covenant. My eyes are ever toward the
Lord..." --psalms 25.12-15

i'm glad my life isn't on 24 because...

1. if chloe spoke like that to me, i think i'd cry
2. cant we all just love each other and be friends?
3. stress eats away at one's lifespan
4. i value sleep entirely too much
5. the pressure of knowing something awful would happen every hour a couple minutes before the hour, that would get to me.

also, honestly, 24 is a really great show, but can we say....predictable?

mold, jalapenos, and resolutions

tonite i was making a fajita for dinner. let me qualify that by explaining i was warming up pre-cooked h-e-b fajita chicken and plopping it on a tortilla with cheese. it was at this point that i was mortified to notice a seemingly dark spot on my newly purchased cheese. was this mold i spotted?

now, i will be honest and humbly admit that i am no stranger to mold on things in my refrigerator. i think this gene comes from somewhere in my family or perhaps just the fact that i live alone and think putting leftovers in the fridge seems rational but never feel like eating them. my most interesting personal experience with this involved a fruit salad that was extremely fun to make and tasted awesome the first 3 or so times i had it. then it became the neglected salad. when i finally investigated it later, it seemed to be alive. or, as ross stated, something that God looked down at and said, what is that living creature? i certainly didn't create that.

anyway, as i was saying, i had just bought this h-e-b finely shredded mexican cheese so i was quite disturbed it would have black spots on it. i picked up the package and learned that this mexican cheese included jalapenos. despite the fact that i cant stand jalapenos, i figured this would be ok for my fajita, i simply poured a lot of salsa on the thing so i couldnt taste the cheese. however, sadly, my main purpose for the cheese was for a dish i was going to make tomorrow that would not appreciate the added cheese flavor. so frustrating. not to mention the stuff tastes nasty. thus, i lament the fact that i did not pay more attention to the cheese i was purchasing. also, it leads me to share some things i've resolved to do this year:

1. maintain the refrigerator so that it has current food/beverage and ONLY current food/beverage.
2. drink far fewer cokes.
3. get a car wash more than once every 6months
4. play my guitar more....as a friend recently reminded me: a girl needs her guitar.
5. write down the stuff that i'm learning
6. visit somewhere i've never been before
7. stay more in tune with world events
8. sing freely while driving in the car, not caring that other drivers might laugh
9. go to the dentist of my own freewill, not my parents predetermination
10. write blog postings more frequently

a concert, a frog, a visit, and a phonecall

so last week i went to my first rock concert. it was to be aerosmith & lenny kravitz, but lenny was sick. i wonder how sick one has to be to alienate all of san antonio by failing to appear. i was slightly annoyed at grown adults acting so crazy, but the music was decent. at one point a guitarist took of his shirt and began slinging it down on his guitar repeatedly, making 'music'. it was at this point that i thought to myself, yes, now i have heard music at its finest.

the other night i was doing a bit of cleaning, putting things away in my closet. my eye caught on a piece of fuzz near my shoes. what a strange shape for fuzz i thought. then i thought, wow, i hope thats not a big ol spider. i bent down for a closer look, but only briefly, because in about 1/2 of a second i realized that fuzz was frog shaped. and thus, the mystery was solved...thaddeaus was found....about as far away from his little home as he could have gotten while remaining inside my apartment. he never did smell, which i found to be strange, but he was most certainly dead and crusty. i was most grossed out. i expressed this by repeatedly saying ewwwwwww and shuddering. but i am glad to know there is no longer a killer frog on the loose in my apartment. so, lolly, you are free to come visit now!!

my nana paid me a visit this weekend and we had a grand time enjoying board games, shopping, laundry, eating out, and the botanical gardens in san antonio.

this morning i received a call from work because i was....oncall. i went off oncall at 7am. the call came about 6.30am, unfortunately for me. it was from someone on the east coast, having difficulties. my vpn was not working so i grudgingly realized i was going to have to go into work asap. i wondered if the lady's coworkers were having the same problem she was? she condescendingly explained to me that it was really early and of course no one else was at work yet. ah, really? if its that early on the east coast, why then are you bugging me in the central time zone? the solution to this problem is: go home. lay down on the bed for awhile. then come back to work at a decent hour. if the problem is still occurring, call whoever is oncall now. thanks and have a great day.

agenda for the evening

there are a few things i need to consider accomplishing this evening:

1. go to the grocery store. i actually alread accomplished this a few minutes ago. but i do belong to that personality type that i still write it down, just so i can cross it off. besides, i thought it was worth documenting my first trip to the grocery store of 2006.

2. wash the dishes. my starving stomach was not the reason i finally ventured to the store, but rather my need for diswasher soap. of course i totally forgot to buy this at the store. i suppose i'll have to wash the dishes with my hands. what?!?! who does that????

3. do some studying and work on the computer, and get some stuff ready to mail

4. finish a book. i have 3 of them going. make that 4. i'm trying to make up for all the lost time in college when you cant read books just for the heck of it because you are so busy reading other stuff.

5. visit the workout room downstairs, just to say hey

6. laundry and other assorted household chores

7. put away the christmas tree. stop judging. on second thought, maybe i'll leave it up until next christmas. actually i probably would except my nana coming to visit this weekend shall provide the motivation to take it down sometime before friday. maybe.

8. post something on my poor neglected blah blog............check!

You raise me up

When I am down, and oh my soul, so weary.
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be.
Then I am still and wait here in the silence.
Until You come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.

--Brendon Joseph Graham, Rolf U. Loevland

boring, oregon and the fate of thaddeaus

well i've returned and survived one post-vacation day at work. i find it humorous there is in fact a town called boring, oregon. you may find it humorous that i chose to vacation there. each is entitled to their own opinion i suppose. at any rate, my vacation was quite nice and most relaxful. ross and i did manage to take in some sites, including the waterfalls along the historic columbia river highway, traipsing around in the snow on mt. hood, and checking out the oregon museum of science and industry...and taking a naval submarine tour, though we were quite disappointed to discover this meant a tour of the sub, not a tour in the sub. at any rate we had a blast. it was also awesome to see my boring, oregon friends and the gresham and troutdale ones too. we played scrabble, skip bo, and went to see glory road at the movies (most excellent). hung out at youth group and with friends. all in all, a most excellent and most needed vacation. props to my oregonian friends, miss all you guys.

o yeah. i neglected to mention the fate of thaddeaus. when i left to go to north texas for new years i bought an automatic fish feeder to feed the frog. when i came back the frog seemed fine. the next morning i got up and went to look at thaddeaus. and he was gone. i know what you're thinking, how could a frog get out? half the lid of the aquarium was off so the automatic fish feeder could be attached. still, you are probably still thinking, how could a frog get out? its a question i still have of my own. at any rate he was gone. evelyn was visiting and i think we both found it quite unnerving to know there was a frog somewhere in the apartment other than the aquarium. still, almost 2 weeks later, no sign of thaddeaus.....

blogging in the new year

well i was able to go to my parents house for the christmas weekend and have a grand time, along with m&b who were in from london. our family chose to show the christmas spirit by driving 9 people to weatherford to watch the chronicles of narnia in a 7 passenger suburban.

my dad shared 2 quotes with us to treasure
1. if i were to begin commenting on people's clothing, we'd be here for a long time.
2. you havent lived a complete life unless you've vomited up a brussel sprout.

after a nice visit with the H-crew, my first overnite guests, i made a return trip to north texas for the new years, this time i had company as ross came along. m&b had rented out a lake house and invited the families out on friday, then on saturday we were able to just hang out and play enough board games to last for the entire year of 2006.

this week eveyln has been in town, whoop! we had a blast hanging out (when i wasnt working) and playing games. sequence has become the new game of choice (thanks nana).

in a few hours ross and i are going to catch a plane to one of my most favoritest places ever...gresham, oregon to hang out with some of my most favoritest people in the world. its my first extended break from work, and i'm quite stoked about it. hope you guys all have a great week...i'm off to enjoy some actual winter weather. this 88 degrees on new years day just does not cut it for me.

corporate christmas partay

well i guess one of the things that makes you feel grown up is going to the office christmas party. nevermind that my office christmas partay was held across several ballrooms with thousands of people in attendance. ross brought over roses and then we drove in his camaro to work, where we caught a shuttle downtown to the convention center (this took approx. 1hr!). when we finally arrived downtown the party was in full swing, we caught part of the cirque show dealy, got our picture taken, and browsed around the international food buffets. we walked around and heard different bands in the different rooms. we met up with some friends from work and hung out with them, eating dessert and watching a simulcast of the doobie brothers from the other room. the older crowd was living it up, all they needed was some candles or something to fully enjoy their doobie experience. the doobies were looking quite old i must say. afterwards we walked around the riverwalk a bit until the park & ride bus line went down and then caught a ride back home. it was quite the partay.

christmas times

the times of christmases past:
well the past few years as a college student i've moved back home for most of december. way back in the day i can recall going to extended family's homes for christmas, but for the past few years, we've stuck to our house, and other family has come to visit us before and after the big day. but generally in our house, a couple kids get up early and sit in their room whispering. but its been the trend it seems that my dad actually wakes US up, otherwise christmas might not start till noon or something if we had our way. at any rate once we're all up, we each take turns opening our stocking, generally youngest to oldest, except last year i think we reversed it. then we have breakfast, usually monkeybread. then we take a break for everyone to get dressed. then we all gather in the living room and one person is selected to be the santa person. for the past 5ish years this has been me, probably because my name starts with s, i'm not sure. at any rate i go to the christmas tree and find one gift per person and distribute them. then we take turns each person opening their gift. then we have a second round, etc till all the presents are gone. sometimes someone might need to open 2 if they have a lot of presents and someone might have fewer presents (but quantity does not always indicate quality!). but eventually we finish about time to eat lunch or something. a lot of times in the afternoon we will go to see a movie. and thats pretty much how we do christmas.


the times of christmases present:
this year i get about 5 days rather than 30ish days off for christmas. matt & bree will be coming in for a short while, from london, rather than up from college station. i put up my own christmas tree. saturday night ross and i are headed to our corporate christmas party downtown. we went downtown and saw the lights. i also hope to drive around to one of the nice neighborhoods and look at some more lights. its just really not that cold. i still have a lot of christmas shopping to do. we will have christmas in graham, year 2. can you say christmas bonus? whoop.

the times of christmases future:
???

my christmas tree

so here's a pic of my first christmas tree. its obviously artificial, i picked it up at target, along with a few ornaments & candy canes & lights. its very relaxing to just sit and watch the lights. ross came over and helped me put it up, on the 1st of december. we drank egg nog and i made him watch its a wonderful life, because its one of my fave movies in the whole world that i watch every year around christmas, and he'd never seen it before. so it was pretty fun, and i'm really glad i went ahead and put the thing up. now, if you come to visit me in, say, march, and its still up, please help me take it down.

its not like you couldnt see it coming, but still

well, devoted reader, i regret to inform you that it has happened. yes, thaddeaus has attacked and murdered bling. i normally feed them when i get home from work, at 5 or 6, sometimes 7 or 8. occasionally i'll forget or something and just feed them whenever, sometime before i go to bed. well today, after church, ross and i went out shopping and such, and then we ended up going to an 8pm showing of the chronicles of narnia movie (it was ok, i think i actually like the old movies better, surprisingly enough). so, i got home rather late, to find bling attacked and dead, and thaddeaus just sitting there all alone. i wonder if he's lonely or if he now feels as if he has conquered the aquarium. perhaps now i'll get a verry large fish and see if it will eat thaddeaus. or maybe ross and i will have frog legs for dinner tomorrow nite, give him a taste of his own medicine.

christmas time & the riverwalk

so here's a first: i was getting my haircut and the lady asks me, so do you have kids? no ma'am i most certainly do not. ok, so maybe its not the first time people have wondered that, i distinctly remember feeling rather awkward sometimes while caring for my younger siblings at the mall or such, but at any rate its the first time someone has directly asked me that. i did feel better after it became clear to me that the haircut lady had simply asked the question so as to transition into a rant about commercialized Christmas and how no one bakes or makes homemade presents anymore like they did (and no lie she actually sad this) "back in the day."

sometimes i like to torture people with thoughtful questions. one i enjoy pulling out of my arsenal is what is the best christmas gift you've ever received? but perhaps my favorite of all is what's the best christmas gift you've ever given?

i've enjoyed many wonderful christmases at our hizzouse. and despite the fact that matt and i enjoy kidding our parents about asking for basketball shoes for christmas a couple times, we got some pretty dang good presents....

there was the year matt and i both got new bikes. oh yeah. back in the days before one drives, one's bike is of upmost importance. and we got cool ones. in fact, i took mine to college with me. at any rate my dad hid them in the guest bathroom. after we'd opened up all the other presents, he somehow lured us into going in there (probably he told us we'd better clean it before guests arrived or something) and we were elated to find new bikes.

there was also the year we got a basketball goal. if my memory serves correctly my dad set it up in the shop in the backyard. thats right folks, we had an indoor basketball court...with a tin roof. i remember playing out there in the rain, it was so deafening. but, and forgive me matt for saying this, but matt and i would have big ol tournaments. i forget exactly how we played, but we'd represent certain college teams, and probably have some sort of free throw shooting contest to determine who moved on in the brackets. good times.

one year we got a pingpong table. there was much ruckus going on early in the morning as it was being assembled. my favorite part of that christmas was watching my grandmother and grandfather duel in a ping pong game. that ping pong table provided many hours of entertainment.

there was also the year i got my guitar. my brother and ER spent some time picking out just the one they knew i would love. my family hid it in the guitar case of the guitar i was borrowing at the time, back in my room. j-jo got her keyboard that year too.

that same year i believe it was, my brother bought me a ring from james avery that he knew i wanted, but had cut out of my christmas list because i really wanted the guitar. it totally surprised me and i think its been one of the best christmas gifts i've ever gotten.

tonight i participated in the commercialization of christmas. ross and i went down to the famed riverwalk, and took one of those little boat tours to check out all the christmas lights. it was pretty cool and we also had some good bbq at the county line. thats all for now, check in next time for a glimpse into christmas traditions of my past and things i'm doing this yr, my first christmas out on my own.

ross and me at the riverwalk...

word of the day

logorrhea: excessive talkativeness

yes, i am quite familiar with this. it is quite frustrating to me.

fish update: bling is hanging in there, under the watchful eye of thaddeaus.

work update: its alrite. put in a nice 12 hr day today, which is contributing to my lack of literary prowess at the moment.

when i get some new batteries for my camera, i will upload a picture of my most fabulous christmas tree. until then, thats all i got.